Elopement Guide

A Step-By-Step Plan for the Perfect Elopement

 

1. FIGURE OUT WHAT KIND OF ELOPEMENT IS RIGHT FOR YOU

If you aren’t sure where to start when it comes to choosing the type of elopement you want, here are some questions to ask yourselves:

What type of ceremony suits your style and personalities?

Are you adventurous? Do you prefer the outdoors? Would you like to hike to your ceremony location? Feel like incorporating travel into your elopement plans? Are you more of a city couple? Are you homebodies? Would you rather have a private backyard ceremony?

Any guests? 

Do you want to include a few family members and friends, or will it just be the two of you? Something private? 

bride and groom walking down street

2. DETERMINE A BUDGET

While the budget is the least exciting part of planning any wedding, it can be the most important part. The good news is that since you’re opting for an elopement, you can spend more money on the parts of the day that perhaps you wouldn’t have been able to if you were planning a big wedding. Maybe you can get the most extravagant bouquet or that dress you’ve been dreaming of. Or hire a more expensive photographer than you had planned to. Or maybe you can travel for a destination elopement.

First decide how much you and your partner feel comfortable spending on your elopement. Then do your research and start to break down how much each of the following things might cost. 

  • Ceremony Site – any applicable permit fees
  • Ceremony Attire
  • Hair & Makeup
  • Rings
  • Officiant
  • Photography/Videography
  • Décor/Flowers
  • Food/Drink
  • Travel & accommodations

Once you have completed those two tasks, you can prioritize the importance of each aspect of your day and figure out how much you can, and want, to splurge on each item. 

 

3. DECIDE WHERE TO ELOPE

Elopements don’t require a traditional wedding venue. You can recite your vows just about anywhere, making it possible to have stunning scenery as the backdrop for your wedding day.

A few things to consider before you start your search for a location:

  • Do you want to travel or get married locally?
  • Is there someplace meaningful to the two of you?
  • Do you prefer indoor or outdoor?
  • City or nature?

Here are some location ideas to jumpstart your brainstorming.

 

Out in Nature:

  • Easy access – the beach, a park, a meadow
  • More of an adventure – Mountains, Redwoods, National or State Parks, Yosemite, Joshua Tree, the rugged coastline of Big Sur

 

bride and groom walking on beach at sunset

 

An Ultimate Overseas Adventure:

  • Outdoor Adventure – If you are an adventurous couple and aren’t afraid of getting a little dirty on your wedding day, plan an adventurous elopement! Maybe you’d like to hike to a ceremony site that has breathtaking views. The following locations offer hiking, nature and unparalleled views: The Scottish Highlands, Thailand, Iceland, Tuscany, Patagonia 
  • A Romantic City – If you prefer the energy of a city, European cities are the most romantic, such as: Paris, Prague, Florence
  • An Island Getaway – Are the islands calling to you? If you envision yourselves sipping cocktails or strolling a tropical beach, consider places like: Kauai, Bali, Maldives, Santorini

The possibilities are endless! I have written a Guide for Planning Your Destination Wedding HERE.

 

bride and groom sitting atop an old wall in italy

 

In Your City or Hometown:

  • City Hall – San Francisco and Santa Barbara have beautiful spaces for City Hall weddings, but note that they can book months in advance. So, make your appointment early.
  • Rooftop Wedding – Some downtown hotels and AirBnbs offer rooftop access with skyline views. 
  • Backyard Wedding – Even if it isn’t your own backyard, maybe you have a friend or relative whose backyard is lovely enough for a private elopement or intimate wedding. Either way, it’s essentially free!
  • AirBnB – Whether you are eloping locally or abroad, you can find an AirBnB property to stay, that also serves as your venue. The Knot has a great article on using AirBnB properties as your wedding venue.

 

bride and groom on roof of building in city

 

4. DECIDE ON A DATE

After you’ve nailed down your budget and chosen a location, you will want to choose a date and book any travel if necessary. After that you can start planning all the fun details!

 

5. CHOOSE YOUR VENDORS

While you might opt to DIY some aspects of your wedding day, you will still want to turn to professionals for help with other parts. For instance, even the simplest courthouse wedding should be documented by a photographer. Will you have your hair and makeup done professionally? How about your bouquet? Will you create an arbor or altar space for your ceremony? You will also need someone to officiate your ceremony.

 

6. WEDDING ATTIRE

Elopement styles vary greatly, from elegant to Boho to edgy! There are no rules. Express your individualism wear what you love. 

• Coordinate your outfits – Whatever you decide to wear, make sure you and your partner are going for the same look. 

• Consider whether you will be travelling to a destination and need packable wedding clothes. 

• Going into the great outdoors? If you will be hiking into your ceremony site, you will need to wear boots under your dress, and possibly even pack your dress and change when you get to your location.

•Hair and Makeup – If you are getting married in another region, even if it’s someplace remote, you can still find great hair stylists and makeup artists to help polish your wedding day look.

 

bride and groom style black wedding dress

 

7. DO THE PAPERWORK

Look into the laws for the specific state or region where you will get married, as they all vary. If you are getting married in California, you need to contact the County Clerk’s Office to obtain your marriage license. For example, this is where you would go for a marriage license in San Diego County. Your marriage license is valid immediately, only in the state of California, and remains valid for 90 days. After your I-do’s, your marriage license must be signed and returned to the county clerk’s office within 10 days.

 

8. SHARING YOUR ELOPEMENT WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Even if family and friends weren’t invited to your wedding, you’ll still want to share your good news with them. Here are a few ideas on how you can do this.

  • Make an announcement before your elopement. 
  • Share the news after your elopement. Send an email or a card with a photo from your big day.  You may want to give your closest family members and friends the news over the phone or in person before the more public announcements go out. This might help to soften the blow of not having been invited.
  • Celebrate with a reception, a small get-together, or dinner with loved ones after your elopement. This is an option that many couples are choosing to do during the COVID-19 lockdown – getting married on their own, then scheduling a reception for a later date, when the quarantine is lifted.
  • Invite those closest to you. You might choose to invite a small group of family and/or friends to attend your elopement.
  • Host a Zoom call so that loved ones can witness your elopement in real time. This is another product of Quarantine-times that just might stick around even after things return to normal.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Elopements are just as special as traditional weddings. Your elopement can be anything you want it to be. But it does require some planning. Contact me for help planning your elopement!

Get in touch